What you see in your mind you will hold in your hand

Sometimes i need to kick myself for not being more forgiving to others and for holding grudges so much. I think it eats you up inside slowly and rots away your soul. But sometimes being thankful for the beautiful things in life helps to repair the damage, to cleanse the heart. So today im thankful for :

1. Friends - they are the blood in my veins, the song in my laughter, the water droplets in my tears.

2. Love - the spring in my step, the crease in my smile, the flutter in my heart

3. Family - the strength from within, the anchor to ground me, the blink in my eyes

4. Knowledge - the pride of my being, the core of my body

5. Humour - the crinkle in my nose, the sound that soothes, the warmth in my belly

6. Patience - the powerless pain, the hand that holds, the winks in my slumber..

Im gonna get some skinny jeans and a bikini

I think i have to stop reading blog blog kegemaran masa kini because, ONE - Ive just realised that their way of writing is just similar - bitchy while trying to sound clever, which i think some of them have actually managed to pull off and TWO i think its effecting my style of writing (as if i had any) and my English. You darn know, that this blog is already littered with grammatical and spelling mistakes, I aint needing more of that.

Four days away from the office, one day at the control centre, weekend and another day of gallivanting with MHM has given me that feeling u have when uve been away on a long weekend. Lazy, lethargic and not really in the mood to concentrate on work. But worry not, I shall be my springy hardworking (ha ha) self by tomorrow!

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I want a David Sedaris right now. I need his sarcastic self-deprecating humour.

miss independent

so i did it. After 2, 30 minute runs the previous week konon as part of my training, i went hentam kromo saja and ran. Although what i want to tell u here is the story of sepanjang perjalanan 10km yg takder la puaka (perkataan baru di petik dari blog kegemaran masa kini.. which i will touch on later) sangat itu.Ok the fun run.. (yes people THERE are human beings who do 10 km runs for fun) and i kid u not, but the crowd for the fun run was at least a kilometre long. So the first 5 minutes of the run was just walking and hobbling trying to get past the gigantic crowd. And after about 1km did i finally manage to break into a slow jog. The feeling i got as i started to enter the bridge was awesome and thankful for the opportunity, and moi, camera-whore yang tidak cukup gila utk carry around the SLR throughout the 10km run sempat juga mengambil gambar dengan handphone. I know.. its so corny but its only once a year that the bridge opened for runners so sangatlah rugi if you dont capture the memory in a picture even if its blurry and tiny.

Anyhow as i was approaching the twin peaks on the bridge, all the while looking forward to the drinks (which i assumed would be there as it is the first check point.. but sungguh celaka kerana tiada setitik pon air disediakan)and as spirits were getting low .. i saw a slightly older and slightly fat gentleman who in my head i called pakcik tua yang gemok (PTYG) running. So i thought.. i cant let this pakcik run pass me so i used him as my race bunny. Little did i know the PTYG was using ME as his. Kejap aku kat depan.. kejap dia kat depan.. and u know how i found out he was targetting me? sebab just as i was about to run pass (potong) him, he suddenly said out loud "wah.. you're quiet strong. Do you run often?".. aku tengok kiri kanan.. and i realized he was talking to me.
So we chit chatted for a bit. At one point the bridge was slightly ascending and so i said something to him.. konon- konon nasihat la.. and he said.."so you're from USM sports science?" dan aku tergelak besar. "tak pakcik. im living in KL. but my parents are here"... (belum lagi aku ckp aku Engineer.. ahem ahem) "Uish.. then i cannot let you beat me. Because i came all the way from Dungun for this run".. terhibur sungguh aku dengan kata kata pakcik itu. hahaha.. aaauuuw.... im so proud of me. Apparently this little nerd has blossomed into a sports science geek lookalike! HAHAHA (Although neither is higher in the social status ladder.. but hey!!) Of course in the end.. i ran pass him and finished 10 minutes earlier but aku takde la bangga sangat pon sbb he was 42 and slightly overweight pon.

My only complaint about the run is obviously from the lack of aid stations for the fun run category. And i even saw a familiar runner who complained that there wasnt even water for the 21km category. They must have underestimated the amount of water runners need or the number of participants in the event. It was quite hellish surviving a 10km run on just a glass of water which i drank at 5.45 am that morning. but im pretty sure it mustve been worse for the half marathon category. This is just alasan but i would like to say that i might have done better if there was water :-p

With no gravity to hold me down

Everybody needs reminding..

"Think of this. A car driving through the night, the headlights only go a hundred to two hundred feet forward. And you can make it all the way from California to New York driving, through the dark, because all you have to see is the next two hundred feet. And that's how life tends to unfold before us. And if we just trust that the next two hundred feet will unfold after that, and the next two hundred feet will unfold after that, your life will keep unfolding. And it will eventually get you to the destination of whatever it is you truly want, because you want it"

Jack Canfield "The Secret"

“Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
-Martin Luther King Jr-

Im trippin', this drink got me sayin a lot..

perkara perkara yg aku rasa syiok (untuk hari ini):

1) Driving on the highway on a long road trip, while eating BK's onion rings dengan Whopper Jr, air coke dan FREE sunday. Sambil mendengar lagu lagu yang layaaan...
owh sungguh 'high' dibuatnya..

2) Berehat di barcalounger ( which i just found out is not spelled "barker lounger" .. ha ha.. kalau tak tau apa barcalounger please google image. kalau malas.. it is actually kerusi yg kau boleh luruskan kakinya ke depan dan tempat sandar boleh adjust ke belakang.. which sometimes i wonder how sex would be on one of those things... which hopefully ...we'll soon find out one day huh..) dengan selesa sekali sambil mengsurf internet yang FOR ONCE, tidak mem-ban friendster, tak slow utk facebook dan mudah mengupdate blog.

3) Berlari di D*sa Pa*k City kemudian berjalan ke kereta.. menikmati senja yang indah.. dengan angin sepoi sepoh bahasa.. dan mendapat realisation betapa indah nya hidup ini sebenarnya.

Covent Garden

And i thought i was strong, resilient and optimist and yet bila didatangi dugaan dari Tuhan.. Aku mengeluh panjang. Tak mampu bersabar. Sentiasa mengadu akan kesusahan. Lantas membuat aku sedar bahawa aku sememangnya insan yang lemah. Betapa kerdilnya diri ini dan bagaimana kesenangan itu boleh ditarik balik pada bila bila masa. Dan pada moments sebegitu aku menjadi malu.. And i am humbled..

Nampak ketarakah dilema di wajah ku... wowwwoooo

Change is imminent and everyone has to be ready to accept change. The recent department restructuring has not been well accepted by some of the staff and theyre loud in voicing their comments. As for me, its official (for now unless suara suara busuk berjaya mengubah dasar mereka) that i will be in the project team. Im not really sure whether its a good or a bad thing but im welcoming the change. Its better to experience something new rather then be stuck in the same old rut forever, no?

Aku rasa in cases like this, you always have TWO options. Its either to live in bitter resentment, while resisting change or to actually accept it and just go with the system. You know as they say, if you cant beat them. join them. Everyone has that choice to feel good about something, even if its bad. Even when they think that they have no control over whatever that is happening, they always have the choice to actually stay positive and be happy about it. You dont need a self help book to know that. You just need common sense. But then again, not everything comes easily.. sometimes after 3 years of being bitter will you finally realise there is no point to all of it..maybe to some people.. its after losing their souls do they realise that life is not all about work. As long as you're stuck in it, then might as well u enjoy the ride. Because most of the time, once you've able to accept your current situation, good things will come along just when u least expect it.

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seperti perubahan di Amerika Syarikat, with their new President Obama. aku kagum dengan level of perubahan yang mereka sanggup ambil..Aku tertanya tanya apakah bende baru yg akan berlaku.. and whether it is a good thing or not.dan whether this will change our relationship with the US...yeah aku mungkin tak mengikuti the whole election process macam kawan aku G (yang perasan dia US citizen .. hihih peace dude) tapi aku ambil tau la jugak. Annoyed pula aku bila membuka radio pagi tadi.. hanya hitzdotFM yang buat feature on the US elections sedangkan radio lain tidak. I mean.. dont Malaysia people want to know about world news? atau mungkin berita norman hakim, memey dan abby abadi lebih penting?.. atau pon tak abis abis pasal AMENO dan perubahan kepimpinan yang bulan MARCH baru nak berkuatkuasa... hello... even Melayu minimalis pon tulis pasal politik Ameria Syarikat..
amboih...amboih..

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