My attempt at fiction

Closure is a funny thing.Its funny because there are a thousand and one ways of obtaining it. It could be from the smallest thing like losing a t-shirt he gave you, to hearing him move in with your best friend.

I knew it took him awhile to get that from me. I knew from seeing how he still called me in the middle of the night, or randomly during the day. Wanting to know how i was and was that me he saw driving the red mini.

He could rot in hell for all i care, for if it was up to me he would never.ever.get.closure. That sorry bastard. Cheating on me while i was at my lowest.

Telling me he loved me but holding hands with that sweet little thang from Texas.

I asked him how he did it? How he managed having this relationship alongside another. How many times he did it with her and when did he took the time to see me? Did the other girl know she was the other women and did she care?

He told me, he was careless. He told me he saw me during the week and the sweet little thang on weekends. He told me he genuinely cared for me. He told me he tried telling me before. That he never lied. That he was only hiding the truth.

What a fucker. That was his argument? that was his excuse? and when i started dating Othello he still had the guts to accuse me of being unfaithful? That he said i was doing the same thing that he did to me?

Sod off i said. You were not worth the trouble anyway.

I'll see you again, on this side or the other

To be able to do a certain pose in yoga, you dont only need physical strength but you also need inner belief. The inner belief that you can do that pose. It took me 2 years to be able to do the Parsva Bakasana (Side Crow Yoga Pose) and over a bit more to be able to do an assisted head-stand against the wall.

Believe me, that is not impressive at all as i still needed someone's help to actually get my feet up aaaaand it was against a wall. I doubt i would be able to do a proper free-standing head stand in the next 5 years but whats amazing is, not so much being able to do the pose but the fact that I actually had the guts to do it without feeling like I was going to fall over.

Every couple of weeks, randomly the instructor would make us practice these head-stands or a series of steps leading to the head stand. And in most of the classes i would be the one just looking from the sidelines. The most i would try is an extended version of the downward dog whereby u slowly walk your feet closer and closer to your hands before you start lifting your legs up. (Which i NEVER manage to do) I did once get my feet up with the help of the instructor but i felt so giddy that i quickly lost balance.

I think life is also like doing yoga, you have a goal ( a pose ) that you want to do and you walk your way through a series of steps to achieve your goal. Initially you will feel fear, uncertainty and you sometimes even stop trying because it is just too scary and you're afraid you would hurt yourself. Like doing yoga, you need lots and lots and practice to get better faster, which in life you need lots of patience and keep on believing in this dream of yours.

Maybe you wont get to do that pose in the next few classes, maybe you need a couple hundred more before you even have the courage to try it out properly but eventually, when the time is right you WILL want to try that move. You would feel a little wobbly, and you will need assistance, and you might not even stay in that position for long BUT when you know how it feels, when u start to realise which muscle to contract,how to hold your posture,which body part to hold on to.. you will finally know that YOU CAN DO IT.. and you will feel like you're on top of the world.

I know in life, after trying so many times, after going through each step methodically, and still not getting the results that we expect, we tend to be discouraged. We will feel like giving up and everything just starts to get fuzzy. And in times like these, everyone and I know myself too needs reminding that sometimes it takes 2 years to be able to do a simple pose. Maybe you didnt get what you want this way, then maybe you need to try a different approach, a different activity..just to look at it in a new angle.

Whats important to remember i think, is at the end of the day, when the time comes, you will know that you are ready to make that move, you will start to feel that you are getting closer to your goal, and when that moment comes you will know that you're doing the right thing.. and you will know that you are finally there.

Rojak buah

Working in an industry dominated by men, as i mentioned before being surrounded by men 90% of the time I have come to realised that there are various ways to work/deal with/better communicate with the human male.

1. You can be the pretty, sweet talking, hapless girl which by men would offer to help you do EVERYTHING.
2. Be the bitch with the sarcastic (sadistic) tone that men (subordinates/bosses/vendors etc) fear.
3. Be the nice girl, who does it all that sometimes gets bullied into doing someone elses job.
4. Be the pretty girl that everybody swoons but with a sharp tongue that u can give them a lashing while laughing jokingly.
5. Be the sweet girl who gets along with men but  would sometimes trash those who try to take advantage of her  (by asking her to do stuff! not taking advantage in that sexual way u pervs! although there have been cases like that in my company but is not the story im trying to tell here) but still  gets things done by herself and by getting the help of the men around her.

I would like to belive that i have my ways of getting things done with the various men i work with , by being a bit of everything from type 1-5. But what i have observed and experienced myself is that for each category of men, (maybe i'll talk about this some other day) there are different ways to deal with them. Sometimes you have to be the hapless sexy siren who needs a hand in lifting the big boxes. Sometimes it's the im your girl-next-door and "oh youre sooo clever for knowing how to configure my phone!". Once in a while you have to be Hitler "you'd better get those equipment fixed before i kill you and feed your bones to the dogs!". But most of the time you can get away with just being one of the guys, engaging normal conversation with them, kid them out sometimes when they make mistakes and never pretend to be stronger than you are not.It's not all bad being having them around all the time, it just needs a little getting used to.
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I'm back!
You know what they say.. when God closes a door.. He opens a window.