You're not alone

My parents will be doing some work on the house and all of us are busy packing and boxing all our stuff. As much as it is tedious and taxing, it is also fun discovering things from the past . Seeing how interesting you were as a student or painfully naive your views on life. In a way its good, at the end of the year where u throw away all the unwanted and keep safely all thats valuable. Although i can never imagine a person having to move from the house they grow up in ...i think its just too much effort physically and emosionally . anyway in the spirit of tahun baru... heres my summary of Tahun Dua Ribu Enam..

This year has been a lot about my Asian travels .Trying deperately to replicate feelings and activities that has been long forgotten. Opening my eyes to beauty thats within my boundaries.
This year has also been a lot about trust and how it can never be recovered once lost. Although what doesnt kill u makes u stronger but it adds up to your ever increasing cynicism and changes u slowly inside. Being lied to and then spewing the same kind of lies back has never been a good choice.
2006 taught me that there a certain friendships which do come with conditions and best by dates. Thankfully for the balance of ying and yang there are also people who you know will always have your back and your relationship with them doesnt change through time or distance.
2006 was also the year i was offered my dream job but painfully having to let it go due to certain "comitments". it was also about working towards something I wanted to do... rather than what THEY wanted me to be... and learning the real meaning of patience.. Its about waking up everyday and not wanting to face the world and always having tears in your eyes.

But after having said all that, i wouldnt say that 2006 is a total loss and i think this sums it all nicely :)

"Yes, losing your heart's desire is tragic... but gaining your heart's desire... it's all you can hope for. This year, I wished for love. To immerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted... and if having that is tragic, then give me tragedy. Because I wouldn't give it back for the world.
-one tree hill -

See u guys in 2007!

regret is such a bad feeling. it makes you wonder about the 'what if's...'.

especially after making what could possibly be a life-changing decision.

like a career move.

especially a career move where you have to take a pay cut.

and have to adapt to a higher cost of living.

and just get by on your paycheck.

and you are envious of your friends at the old organisation who earn big salaries.

and travel the world on paid-for training courses.

flying business class.

who have investment portfolios and can afford to save some money for the future.

who have houses.

what do you tell yourself?

when you can only look on in envy.

when in fact you knew what you'd be in for.

you knew you'd have to make sacrifices.

all in the name of doing what you want to do.

and thinking that hopefully, what you're sacrificing now you'll be able to recoup in the future.

but you still look at them and think...'what if...'

people say that money can't buy happiness...

but do you notice that the only people who say that are people with money?

*P.S. not written by lin :-P*

Touch me and i will follow in ure afterglow

hidup nih tak selalunya indah kan?
mesti ada banyak ketawa gembira..tapi mesti ada juga
saat saat yang kau terduduk..terdiam dan terpikir all the things that
u should be thingking..
kadangkala aku tak suka moments moments itu..
aku nak sentiasa tawa ria...
tapi langit tak selalunya cerah..
aku dah lama tau dan sering kali diingatkan "life is not perfect, Lin"
tapi no matter what.. most of the time.. I feel lucky to be me..
And u should feel the same way about your self too..
Always...


demit..new year dah dekat.. aku masih belom
sempat lagi me-reminisce tahun dua puloh kosong enam..
takper tujuh hari lagi..
sempat sempat..

btw..aku suka lah semenjak dua menjak cuti cuti panjang nih.
jalan raya lengang. kereta kurang.
jam takder. boleh pergi kerja lambat sikit.
a few extra minutes of sleep is always highly appreciated.
kau rasa bila tol dah naik nanti.. lepas new year..
ada harapan tak jalan jalan kosong macam ni?
ke sama je.. sixty percent increase or no sixty percent increase..
*sigh* kene bangun lebih awal lah aku lepas nih...

  

Chenta

Kumengerti perpisahan ini
Bukan kerana kau membenci
Tapi kasih yang pernah kuberi
Tiada lagi bersama...

Sering kala aku
Terlihatkanmu
Impian nan indah
Tersulam bahagia

Kuharungi hari demi hari
Bersama wajah tak mungkin akan kembali
Tapi hati masih tak terima
Ditinggalkan sengsara...

Keraguan ini bukanlah padamu
Perasaan hati masih rindu
Kekalutan ini hanyalah untukku
Tercari-cari bayanganmu

Tak sanggup aku
Kehilangan...

Kehilangan mu...
Masih tercari-cari

Keraguan ini bukanlah padamu
Masih tercari-cari bayanganmu
Tak sanggup aku
Kehilangan mu....

Im soooooo in love with this song..
okeylah.. actually Im in love with Anuar Zain (okeylah... u too MHM :))


btw... its been such a hectic week.. ive been to Temerloh and back in one day..
and for the first time ever i drove on the Karak highway all by myself..
in the rain.. in the dark..
scary the mary...
and the next day back at the office like nothing happened..
but what an experience..
but yeah.. im just knackered..
i was soo tired today.. i felt like
throwing myself down the stairs and
letting myself tumble down down to the ground...
and then get some real rest..
ah... what a drama queen...

anyway what are your new years plan?

The one with the house reunion


And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
.....

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
.......
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?

No more wondering..
we're actually TWENTY-FIVE..
living.. breathing every single second of it..
and it aint bad as we thought it would be...

btw.. Good to see u galzz after all these years..

Previously : On Greys Anatomy


"Lying is bad.
Or so we're told.
Constantly.
From birth.

Honesty is the best policy. The truth shall set you free.
I chopped down the cherry tree.
Whatever.

The fact is, lying is a necessity. We lie to ourselves because the truth,
the truth freaking hurts.No matter how hard we try to
ignore it or deny it, eventually the lies fall away.
Whether we like it or not.

But here's the truth about the truth. It hurts. So we lie."

Bila Otak in Holiday Mode ( mereng )

Have you ever wondered why i wanted to go away?..
Because I missed the past..

Do u know why i wanted to go away?..
Because i wanted to write all the fun things i did..

Do u wonder why i want to go away?..
Because i wanted to experience life..

Want to know why i want to go away?
Because im jealous of them..

In the end..
I think..

I dont wanna go anywhere...
I just wanna be there ..
with you.. 

And its a rainy week

 

Where did I go wrong i lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And i would have stayed up with you all night
Had i known how to save a life..

-The Fray-

(I figured out a way to outsmart the firewall.. and get into the blogger interface and post pictures!!! *jumps up and down with joy like the purple yahoo icon guy*.. Im very pleased with myself) 

I wish...

...I wish I could see your face in the soft light of the night sky

...I wish I could softly trace the outlines of your face, from your eyebrows down to your cheek, jaw and hollow of your throat

...But wishes shall remain just that. Wishes...