What doesnt kill me.. Makes me stronger..

This year has been a year of constant challenges.. it might not be the toughest year yet but its definitely a continuous stream of challenges all the way..
by the time im ready to settle down in comfort, a new punch is thrown my way and im busy ducking and defending my self holding on to dear life.. If 2004 was my transition year from two extremes than 2005 is like pre-school to a whole new world ahead..Its sort of a taster of what to come..

Still to be fair, there were also many little joys along the way which made every step.. every move a little less hurtful and a little more more enjoyable.. as i once said before, what is life without anticipation, regrets and dejection.. umpama cawan putih tanpa corak.. its usefull ..serves the purpose.. but so dull and predictable..
Even the people i care about were constantly evolving.. old bonds broken and new relationships formed..its like a year of reformation for everyone.. I guess its tough changing status from student to office-slave.Anyway, to end things, heres a summary of the good, the bad and the evil of 2005.. *drum roll*
In random order..


Good Moments :
1. OBS - The best 25 days of my life.
2. The holy land - a time to repent and just sit there doing nothing but glorify-ing the One and Only..
3. Putrajaya
4. 3 different dates in one weekend
5. Bora Ombak .. *click* *click*
6. you and you
7. Friends getting married, engaged.. giving birth..
8. Chilis..
9. "A lot like love"
10. Kereta kecil warna meraaah.. boleh ku bawa ke sekolah pejabat... pon pon pon pon.. kereta kecil ku berbunyi.
11. Sabah.. woooohooooo


Not so good moments :
1. OBS - penat, hitam dan legam..
2. Putrajaya - 2 hour daily drives
3. Budget budget budget..
4. Friends breaking up.. and not knowing what to say and what not to say..
5. you
6. Missing familiar faces :(
7. Dealing with the administration

Hats off to 2005!.. How you doiiinnnnnn 2006
Happy New Year y'all

Trala lalala.. la la la la

After about a month-long-wait, i finally got my own PC ( which is quite a short wait, in normal terms).. im still doing nothing other than surfing, reading blogs or story books but at least i get to do it at the vicinity of my own work area.No more running 2 floors down just to check my mail.

My christmas holiday was a long one starting from a balik kampung trip.. and ending with a cross country KL thingy.. i drove all the way to Shah Alam from Kepong..patah balik ke Keramat..back to Kepong.. Shah Alam again and finally Kelana Jaya..I drove 178 km's in 12 hours. that is actually not so impressive if i was still in Putrajaya since it was a daily 100km drive but nowadays since the most i do is 40km ..178km in a day is quite a feat...

The end of year is approaching fast and usually i would be doing my annual reminiscing of the past and drafting out the future.. but since ive been busy with a certain new year event.. i have yet to sit down and think things thru. ( tak best jiwang jiwangkat office.. takder feel) If everything goes well this New Year should be a fun one.. with the company of great people.. but lets not talk about it here in fear id jinx it...
Okey..
back to the trenches..

If only U knew

there are some people.. who just after one night..
a brief encounter.. just one day..
and u feel like uve known them a life time...

there are some people.. u ve known them forever...
and it still feels like uve only met them yesterday..

Clark: It doesn't bother you that he's so...

Lana: Different? If you really like someone, you accept every part of them, but you can't do that until they're willing to share every part with you.

Clark: I think people like Byron keeps a part of himself hidden so he doesn't scare people away.

Lana: If you want to get close to someone, you have to take that risk.

Clark: What if the risk is too big to take?

Lana: Then you might miss out on something that could be pretty amazing

Everyday I walk 4 flight of steps.. about 6 times a day.. each flight has 11 steps..
alltogether i walk at least 4 x 11 x 6 = 264 steps
Obviously I dont need to go the gym... Ever!....

Semangkuk Jerluk.. Sepinggang Dagang.. Tak Cukup Pulut Tambah Nasi Dagang

I am all excited today.. My desk is finally looking like an office desk..
with my own waste paper basket..pencils and pens.. glue..my own stapler..the works..
yeah i know not many would be prancing around with joy for some stationaries and a tong sampah... ( they dont call me Egi Tong for nothing...internal joke: azzad,Pak ajie and nogha je rasanya paham) but yes I am..
I *stole a set of drawers from the other wing this morning.. so now i have a place to keep my organisers and handbag....
Its a nice feeling...getting new stuff.. starting out in a new place..
Theres still that horrid affair of getting to know ur peers.. the bosses and adjusting to new people .. new environment and all but i guess once ure able to accept the fact that everyone starts from below, youre more able to enjoy the present rather than fretting on the future...
I do feel like a young apprentice .. trying to learn the ropes..asking my seniors every single detail.. i even have a patron who i rely on for most stuff.. but then again maybe my head has a bit too much of "Memoirs of Geisha" .. that im feeling this way..
I got it last week.. after several times contemplating to buy it.. books are expensive you know.. but i guess since i do need something to fill my time with and since I do wanna read the book before the movie comes out next week,its a good catch.. Its a great read and those who havent should definitely get it..
Anyway a cute boy came to the office today.. and even pointed out the book i was reading..( see.. i told you it was a good catch)..which was a good distraction from my routine reading.. but since he's taken and one of my friends already have a crush on him.. ill just leave it at that...

aku tak tau kenapa.. tapi suddenly aku teringat that story with that down syndrom kid "Corky" rasanya.. yg ada lagu. "O bladi..O blada.. life goes ooooooonn.. lalalala life goes on"....

The mind is a tool that should not be left untouched for a long time...
it will grow mouldy and blunt..

I need a project to fill up my time..
but what oh what should i do?

Boring stuff

Getting to know Lin better
Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve. ( I really should have taken up psychology at uni...)

*Ka-Chiiing...*

6.30 am : Kepong

8.30 am : Bangsar
- Breakfast = RM2.60

11.30 am : Putrajaya
- Toll = RM1.30
- Lunch = On da house

5.00 pm : Kepong
- Toll = RM 1.60


I Thank God for
1) Red colour Kelisas
2) SmartTag
3) Slow Administration
4) Friends you havent seen in 6 months
5) No computer at new desk

There are certain things that money cant buy.. For everything else.. theres MASTERCARD..

Self-inflicted pain

I have been PC hopping from one PC to another since I have yet to be placed in a specific unit thus a specific desk..
Luckily im used to the current office as i have been attached here before and i know my way around.. so, there wasnt any of that weird first-day-of-work experiences..
I was actually welcomed with open arms ( literally!)..
Im still waiting to be moved to the level above which im sure ill have to suffer through "hi-Im-Lin.. and-you-are?" phase...
The thing about PC hopping is that i tend to view this page in every PC and it feels like planting seeds of disaster all over the place..I do not want every macha and lenchai in the office reading my blog..that would just be suicidal..
So my question is.. how do i erase my blog from their history list without having doing -tools-internet options-clear history- coz i do not want to erase the list of links they usually visit..in case they dont put it in their favourites..
is it possible or should i just kill my self now?

Last but not least

"..I'll tell you, thats one thing I hate about my nickname, the way that numbers run on forever. Its important in life to conclude things properly.Only then can u let go.Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse.That bungled goodbye hurts me to this day.I wish so much that I'd had one last look at him in the lifeboat, that I'd provoked him a little so that I was on his mind. I wish I had said to him then - yes, I know, to a tiger, but still- I wish I had said, "Richard Parker, its over...."

-Yann Martel-

Sunny Sunday

In conjunction with some motor fest... the police were doing 50% discounts on summonses...I was actually pretty excited, having being in Sepang for the first time. but boy was i in for a surprise.. It was friggin hot that day and to maks matters worse.. it was the longest wait ive ever had..we took off around 2... got there around 3.. and everything finished around 7...

I am so tired of staring at the computer that my eyes are all watery...
Thank God i have Pi as my company..

Im amazed at how Martel describes the mere fear..

I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent.Only fear can defeat life.It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unearring ease. It begins in your mind, always. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possesed, happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out....
..
Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last allies : hope and trust. There you've defeated yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over you.
..
... you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Becauese if you dont, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never ruly faught the opponent who defeated you..

If you dont believe i copied it all manually.. typing it word by word..... well mister you'd better believe it!.

Crazy legs


U know in Charlies Angels 1.. where Sam Rockwell places that nerd, super geek Eric Knox... who then turns out to be this villain... with the shades.. quick dance moves (cheesy dance) and good with the gun..

Why do i think hes sexy?...
u know.. super nerd ...turned evil..
isnt that just cool..??

do i have a weakness for bad boys or what....

I really gotta learn how to play my cards right...
seriously...